30 Days of Posts….aka writers block rehab.

27 Sep

Are y’all on The Twitter ? You so should be if you are not because let me tell you, I gots me some good ol buddies over there. And one of my buddies ( I would remember which one if it wasnt football Sunday and CLEARLY I’ve had a sip or two ) said you should follow @grace 134 who writes an awesome blog over at www.missdisgrace.com ( I know theres a way to make a cool link here and SOMEONE around here is gonna tell me how to do it, cuz ya love me ). And I am a total sheep to my Twitter fam and do whatever they say. So I headed over there and had a blast and came accross a mega-meme where you are given 30 subjects to write about for 30 days. And since I was consumed with bloggers block, i promptly stole it and…well here we go. I am making a committment to you, my masses of followers ( ok, both of you ) to knock out  these 30 posts in 30 days. Ya know, after the Skins game.

OK. Skins suck monkey nuts this week so I’m back. Another interception  Really ?

So 30 days of introspection. I laughed when @grace134 said good luck. I mean, what could be easier than someone handing you a topic to write about. Especially when you are a new blogger. Someone is putting in your hands a reason and topic to blog.  So , number one – What Do You Hate About Yourself ?

Ok so I CLEARLY didn’t get around to writing this last night. There were more cocktails and then Dexter so, I was busy. Sue me. Back to …

What Do I Hate About Myself ?

I am absolutely consumed with self doubt. I pretty much believe I always took the wrong path, made the wrong decision, someone is going to find out I am a fraud.  And sometimes this becomes basically paralyzing so I just don’t. do. anything. Because, obviously, I would fuck it up, not complete it, do it wrong, people would think I’m stupid.

I just don’t want to be anyone’s fucking statistic – “well of course she sucks, she was a teen mom.” ” Of course she failed, she never graduated from high school.” “What more can you expect, her mom had a drug problem.”

But Im working on that, really hard. At least a few times a day I do the ol ” Im good enough, Im smart enough an dammit people like me thing.” And I am incredibly lucky to have the ChelleBell ( Chelle is my girlfriend, she will get a post all to herself sometime here soon. It may seem to some that ChelleBELLE would be more appropriate but that -E on the end would make it pretty damn girly which would make her vomit. Like twice. Again, more on her later ). She thinks I am pretty damn awesome and has for like 22 years now and she reminds me at least once a day.

Wow. Grace was right. This is gonna be harder than I thought.

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